my turn of things

i have never understood why mom would cry everytime we’d accompany dad to NAIA’s departure area. dad would hug me and my five other siblings…and then my mom and he would tell her “magingat kyo mommy”…then my mom would burst into tears…

…maybe I was just nonchalant about it…or not too sentimental for that matter…or I was just too young to understand how time & distance conspire against parting lovers.

…but I knew these parting scenes were just ephemeral…without even realizing it…two years have passed and dad again is back.

however, last sunday it was all different for me.

at 5am i was already awake to take a quick shower, prepared myself to meet him at the airport. but my body was too heavy coz I hardly slept the night before (we came home very late coz by the way it was my birthday’s eve and we had our last dinner together for the year), thus I almost missed seeing him.

he checked-in his luggage at 7am for his 9am flight. Oh good Lord, I will never forgive myself if I did miss it! we said our goodbyes and sealed it with a brush kiss on the cheeks (aye! Coz his mom & dad are staring, hehehe!)…and with my parting words, more of a cheeky reminder though, “magingat ka, tatangatanga ka pa naman!” …I decided not to go with his family home..and took the cab alone instead. i saw her mom wiping off her tears as she bid his son goodbye…

…inside the cab, i saw him waving his hand goodbye, with those deep sad eyes as if saying “I’m missing you already”…it was a moment of mixed emotions…I was thrilled and anxious and all at the same time…thrilled because finally his dream of flying to US and land to a fine job came true…(we have dreamt for this for the longest time already)…anxious coz I know there at the other side of the world…he’d be facing a totally different place…different time zone…different environment…different culture…different people…and these alone alarm me to the bones.

…but I mustered all my strength not to unveil what I felt inside…i don’t want to add-up to his burden of leaving his comfort zone – his homeland and his familiar crowd. the least thing I wanted is for him to leave with a heavy heart…

…i don’t know if the cab driver saw my teary eyes, but he remained silent whilst he drove me home as if he understood my need to just cry like a baby…delayed reaction as it was…but only after I left the airport…I felt the pain…i wanted to run back and tell him, “can you not go? please stay, I don’t wanna be left here all alone.”

…it is indeed difficult…now I understand all the tears my mom shed in my early years whenever dad would leave to abroad…it is the thought of parting with the love of your life…even just for a time…it is the pain of anticipated longing and yearning to be together again soon…but no matter how tough it is… i hold on to his promise…he’s gonna be back in a year…and we’d be seeing each other again…

…afterall, with today’s technology, with all the skyping (etymologized from “skype”) & SMSing, time and distance are all defied…

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