paradoxes of tying the knot

bangge! b___ng here. musta na? J
& I are getting married na. sama
kta sa entourage ha? ingats!” an SMS popped on my mobile phone from an
unregistered number. but i know perfectly well who she is.

surprised yet delighted…were my initial reactions. why wont i? J is my besti (bestfriend). i know how he has longed to be needed and loved. he deserves to be desired, pursued and wanted. and thank you B, you just made my besti feel complete. you are the heaven’s answer to his lifetime prayer. i know, you’ve been waiting for someone like him to come along too. but i am surprised at the same time…i never thought it would be that soon…i realized i am not ready yet to lose another person in my life…i mean not permanently though…but news of weddings and offshore work assignments from my closest friends… saddens me more than excites me. In a span of two years I’ve lost too many close friends either by marriage or by working abroad. (1. went to Canada and starting to have a family 2. flew to Aussie to be with her hubby and now has a
baby 3. flew to  Eire to make a life out there with her new family 4. D landed to  California in pursuit of
career growth 5. 95% probability of my bes leaving for dubai in quest for greener pasture in the desert)… it hits me BIG time…knowing that no matter how I try to console myself that things are but OK, it’s difficult to understand,
how distance and marriage (of my friend to his/her better half) snatch my friends away from me. distance and marriage seem to be always in connivance to afflict me by stealing the very persons I hold close to my heart. and the grief
proliferates as I realize how they all took the leap of family life whilst I remain wooly on settling down. (but this is another story which I’d mull over on my future post).

nonetheless, selfishness attacks – like the one I just had for feeling lonely over my besti’s forthcoming BIG day – are but momentarily. at the end of the day, ineffable joy and unspeakable excitement for my besti’s wedding abounds my heart ;-)


Cheers besti!!
Congrats in advance!


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