i am my daddy’s girl

my five other siblings would contest this, but i know with ineffable certainty that he loves me more than the rest. funny how he thinks me oblivious to his ‘maximum tolerance’ on my endless lakwatsas, time to time tantrum attacks and customary stubbornness. he thinks i cant notice how discreetly he defends me whenever mum and i would debate on an extremely trivial stuff. there were even times when my attitude would bargain for his remarkable patience.

whilst he was still working abroad, and a fellow expatriate comes home, the chap would visit our house (on his request) with bags of chocolates from him enough to last us a month. with a bonus story of course, how he constantly brag of his six brood and how proud he is to his first born as he rest medal after medals to her every year.

he introduced me to the Immanuel. he showed me how staple the bible should be in my daily diet. and like the prodigal son story, he waits for me unwearyingly, until i get home from my wandering.

he is the expressive type. a complete opposite of his betterhalf. he regularly sends me sms ‘magingat ka’, ‘i luv u, good night’. he is the only person i know who can spoil those dearest to him even in the absence of words – wakes up to open the door for me at night, does my beddings, orders (if not cooks) my favorite food, picks me up/drops me off at the terminal, and sometimes even does my laundry. he expresses himself better when he’s in the pulpit. i well tears whenever his sermons would hit me. surely, others are blessed after listening to him.

he retired from working overseas two years ago. he decided to start a business here so he can spend his time with us more. and i must say the past two years are the best to me not thinking the economics of it.

i unfortunately raised my voice on him over the phone one night. suddenly i was ashamed of myself. that was the first time, and hopefully (god help me I plead) my last shot to talk balk. i could sense his fear meshed with disappointment on the other line. how could someone, whom he well favored have the nerve to raise her voice? i am not proud of it. i regret it. it stuck in my memory even after forgiveness when he sent me an sms ‘matulog ka na, i luv u. good night’ afterwards. he dismissed my misconduct instantly. but how can someone forget the wound inflicted by someone that has gone so deep? no matter how skewed he could get, i have no right at all to even think of talking back.

and then there was silence. saying sorry won’t suffice, i know. but i said it anyway. i cannot afford to sleep knowing i’ve hurt the first man in my life, my favorite guy.

now as i wait for the one, i would always remind myself that i should only settle for someone who’s reflective of what he is to me. i know it is difficult, make it close to impossible, as he is a rarity, but he’d definitely wear that big smile when he walks me to the aisle if he knows he is giving me to someone who’d love me unconditionally – much like what he does to me.

i know i can never repay him, but let me pay it forward to my own children. let me love them with the kind of love he showers me.

luv u dad. and i’m sooo proud of you. yes i know, i am your favorite, even if you won’t admit it. you too are my favorite manmy favorite dad!

cheers to all the wonderful dads in the world! ;-) this gives me a stir.

*originally posted on my old blog.



10 Responses to “i am my daddy’s girl”

  1. 1 Sonnie 17 June, 2007 at 11:47 pm

    Your dad is blessed to have such a loving daughter and repentant daughter. But is it true that dad’s has a soft place in the hearts of daughters? I know for a fact that dad’s have a soft spot for daughters, but am not sure of the other way around.

  2. 2 cooloperator 18 June, 2007 at 9:58 am

    nuh, nothin… i’m tracking back my memories, trying to recall how many times i said “i luv u” to my dad or did i say it to him even once? i think so…

    hapi father’s day to all the dadz out there…

    mare, hapi great-grand-mother’s day in advance… harharhar

  3. 3 banggigay 18 June, 2007 at 2:02 pm

    ei sonnie… in my inner circle alone, i know several who adores her dad more than i could ever articulate :-)

    kiddo, i can understand where you’re coming from, but life is all about forgiving and loving without ifs. if we want to stop the viscious cycle, forgiveness is the only key to total freedom. freedom from pain, from angst and from all negativity. for all its worth, ang sarap mabuhay sa mundo! :-) cheers!

  4. 4 hitme64 18 June, 2007 at 5:59 pm

    i know my daughter thinks of me as her “girl”, she being the eldest of a brood of three and the only girl at that. My wife had a difficult pregnancy with her. I used to baby-sit her during the first ten months since we couldn’t afford a yaya…and we’d do it alternately with my wife who worked at nights then. I think it was something she cherished most, the moments spent with her even if she probably never recalled what happened then. But in my family, everybody is SPECIAL, including my two boys. My youngest thinks and feels he is most special, and he is, considering he came almost nine years after our second boy. And when you have two college-bound kids already and a fourth-grader, chances are you’ll know who gets the special treatment now at home.

    It’s fun being a dad…but it’s even more fun to see the fruits of your labor and sacrifices go a long, long way…cherish those moments that you had with your dad…someday, you’ll know how it feels to be one, even if you’re a girl…

  5. 5 banggigay 18 June, 2007 at 6:45 pm

    hahah! oh daddy hitme64! cheers to you! you’re surely one of those cool daddyos around. ;-)

    and on my belief, im the favourite, i know my other siblings think the same way too. :-) hahaha!

    cheers to all the fathers!

  6. 6 e-rod 19 June, 2007 at 2:32 am

    as i was saying :) before i unexpectedly hit the “enter” button…

    what a stirring tribute to your favorite man. i hope he gets to read this post. sometimes i think we don’t tell our parents enough how much we love them.

  7. 7 sardonicnell 19 June, 2007 at 6:06 am

    katouch naman, bangge! your dad is such a sweet guy. sabi nga nila “action speaks louder than words” and your dad is a living testament to that!

  8. 8 banggigay 19 June, 2007 at 10:48 am

    ay naku eric! my bro, of course contested on my statement, that he has to cheekily bug my dad if it’s true :-) so he has to let my dad read it and my dad was utterly speechless the other night. i was never good in expressing my softy side, thus he never knew how miserable i felt answering him back, and all the more he has the least idea how proud i am to have him as my dad :-)

    nel, he is indeed sweet and 10,000 things more :-)

  9. 9 Prasad Rasal 20 June, 2007 at 10:40 pm

    Dear Vangie
    So stupid of me to ask how to comment…on the blog…This would be first ever reply from me to any blog in the world and so its special…like your every feeling…I,perhaps got more involved than required and vitually could see you with every workd of yours…
    In India…or for that matter in most of asian countries parents form the backbone for longer periods than anywhere else in the world…I stay with my dad and that will be for ever…Earlier the same sentence i used to construct it differently…like…my dad stays with me…so one fine day when i spoke this to an elderly gentleman…he very politely said….ur dad never stays with you…its always opposite….however high you reach in life materially or otherwise….Never say that and frm then on…i have improved…They do lot for us…not only dad but both parents…We came from middle class background and most of the times had difficulties meeting the ends…slowly the condition improved and by Gods grace after my graduation things are like never before….HE has blesses with the luxuries they missed in early life and i am happy i could be a party to their haydays….Dad still today is rocking with great physique but due to ill mom cannot go out much…I salute every expression which praises our parents and fee lucky to have them for this life and may they be so in case i have to born again…

  10. 10 banggigay 21 June, 2007 at 10:53 am

    hi prasad! welcome to my crib! ;-)

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